I saw that thermostat housing on ebay too, and was considering buying it as a spare. But I wont bid now incase you need it Pauline, dont want the price to be pushed up.
I have just spent 5 weeks ( or more ) sorting out my early type water pump and thermostat so i sympathise with you...

These really are hens teeth rare in serviceable condition, The one I bought from ebay was nearly as bad as the one I had to crowbar off my engine, but after hours of drilling and re tapping threads it is all back together and I am hoping to refit the engine this weekend to test it all.
Without pictures it is nearly impossible to diagnose accurately, but I would start by inspecting the rubber pipes, looking for damage , even a pin prick hole would cause a leak, the pipes are all still available, I didnt use the VW one that is pictured in your post, I used a silicon replacement cut to size at half the price.
The seal that goes in wuth the thermostat could cause the leak... these can be bought from brickwerks for a couple of quid , it is possible that the one fitted is damaged , maybe a manufacturing defect or by human error... again any one of the gaskets could be leaking, also if the previous owner did take of the housing to remove a stuck thermostat , it is perfectly possible that they had to be very heavy handed to remove it and damaged one of the mating faces, they are only made from alloy .
It sounds like your mechanic doesnt want the job.... to be fair to him i doubt he knew what he was getting into, he needs to earn a living and maybe has spent too long on the job and cant see a way out .
A T25 friendly mechanic needs to be found near to you, once you have the van in friendly hands this can be sorted out, good luck !
Just a quick note on that part on Ebay... it is still bolted to the water pump, that worries me slightly as getting it away from the pump is usually the issue... the 2 long bolts ( M8 80 mm ) tend to corrode in the alley casing , shear of their heads and stick fast , although the one pictured has orange instant gasket showing so it looks like it has been apart at least once in its life. If you did buy it then for the sake of £50 replace the water pump anyhow... you really dont want to be doing this job again for a while.
This is fixable, so dont worry too much.

2.5 Quad Cam Scooby engine . Westfalia California 1989