Doctor doctor, I keep poking holes in my campervan...

[pandkh]

Doctor, it all started when I bought a campervan.

I could see a little bit of rust on the body work, through a chip in the paint. So I did what any grown up kid would do, I poked it with a screwdriver. The paint flicked off reassuringly and I could see some rust underneath. I painted it with Vatcan and the it turned a lovely shade of black. From that point on I was hooked. Every weekend I'd be out there with a penknife and small screwdriver, a little poke here, a prod there, and then every so often you'd hit the jackpot, the burnt umber nectar of rust. I'd delight in getting that vactan out for my fix of black. Once opened, I'd then prowl the undersides of the van looking for any other spots which I could touch. I started to love the whole routine, the preparation, the overalls, I started to appreciate what transvestites feel like.

But it's started to take over my life. Every spare second I'm out there, poking here and there. I lie awake at night trying to think of places I haven't yet checked for rust, dreaming of the day when I finally drop the tank. My wife's getting suspicious, I keep 'disappearing', and moving about the house furtively. "Have you been looking at that van again?". I try and deny it but the truth is, i've been rolling around the drive on my back, headtorch on, scouring the wheel arches for rust, like a pig in muc.

Things have got serious now though. I've even taken days of work, removed the wheels so I can get my head right into the wheel arch, and the final straw. I bought a dremel, so I can take on the seams. I've hidden it in the shed so no-one finds out, but I got it out today and it ripped through that old seam sealer and torn into the rusty seems. I went on and on for hours, the high pitched mechanical whirr keeping me company whilst filler and rust enveloped me in a cloud of dust.

I keep telling myself it's good for the van, it's better that we find it and deal with it, but the van is starting to show the effects. Just yesterday I poked a big hole in the drivers cab step and 4 in the lower drivers door lip. There's already a big hole just in front of the nearside rear wheel arch, and all of the window lips look like swiss cheese. Just now I took the rear wheel off and punched a fist size hole in the upper outside corner of the rear offside wheel arch, just underneath that hot air intake black box.

I can't go on like this Doctor, what should I do ??

[volks_womble]

buy a welder?

[discipleofsketch]

[Alzey]

I think we need to start a support group... I'm afraid that I'm displaying similar symptoms but I'm getting treatment ,I 've booked some therapy this weekend at a mass gathering of sufferers called Busfest.

[itchyfeet]

Yep sounds like me, rather have a vactaned hole than a smooth festering panel full of p38, when ever I go under the van the vactan comes out.
Did you know a drilled round hole in a structural position is not an MOT fail, a rusty hole is, so any pin prick holes get the drill or q max punch treatment, one day they will need welding but that can wait.


Never heard of a docter, whats that then? ( sorry grammar nazi moment)

[max and caddy]

Yep sounds like me, rather have a vactaned hole than a smooth festering panel full of p38, when ever I go under the van the vactan comes out.
Did you know a drilled round hole in a structural position is not an MOT fail, a rusty hole is, so any pin prick holes get the drill or q max punch treatment, one day they will need welding but that can wait.


Never heard of a docter, whats that then? ( sorry grammar nazi moment)

Actually....any significantly weakened panel is a fail...but in theory this is correct.

Here look...up on the top right...http://www.motinfo.gov.uk/htdocs/m4s06000101.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[volks_womble]

Incidentally, this is what my brother and I refer to as 'the screwdriver of doom'...

you get a small (medium or large, depending on the project) screwdriver out to explore how far the rusty hole goes, and very soon you have poked it through far more steel than you ever intended to!

It can all be fixed though...
Mark

[itchyfeet]

Yep sounds like me, rather have a vactaned hole than a smooth festering panel full of p38, when ever I go under the van the vactan comes out.
Did you know a drilled round hole in a structural position is not an MOT fail, a rusty hole is, so any pin prick holes get the drill or q max punch treatment, one day they will need welding but that can wait.


Never heard of a docter, whats that then? ( sorry grammar nazi moment)

Actually....any significantly weakened panel is a fail...but in theory this is correct.

Here look...up on the top right...http://www.motinfo.gov.uk/htdocs/m4s06000101.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

it was you that told me before
http://www.brick-yard.co.uk/forum/is-th ... ole#626417" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

you also said front step is not a fail which it contrary to what most people think.